We all have a choice in this life. It might not seem it at times, especially when things are difficult, but we do.
Recognising that we are not victims and we can choose differently has been very liberating to me. And I am not talking about genuine victims of abuse here, I am talking about when we think we are a victim of our circumstance, our job or our relationship. When we think they are permanent, and we cannot do anything about it. Even though sometimes I believe I have been backed into a corner with no where to go, that hasn’t really been the case. The difference is that the choice I would like to make is not the “easy” one. It may have an impact on friendships, family members or finances. But not making a choice has an impact too. And ultimately, is a choice in itself.
If we have the power to shape our lives and react in accordance to that, then things can change sooner than we thought. They can change for the better.
Myself and a few friends have been in situations in the last 6 months where we have been at complete burn-out level and genuinely thought “this is the pace of my life now forever, there is no other choice” when in reality we can step back and say, “this is not serving me anymore, this isn’t what I want my life to be like and I want my health to be a priority.”
When we are in the thick of burn-out we cannot see options or opportunities because we are living in survival mode. It is so important to carve a small amount of time to relax and wind down so that ideas can find their way into your conscious mind.
I could not see other ways out whilst I was mid burn-out and I was ashamed of saying “I can’t do it anymore” because I could be judged for not coping or could maintain a modern life.
Well our minds aren’t modern, they are still primal, and that is the reality of what we are dealing with.
I know you are busy. People are always busy. But once a day, have a bath, or go for a short walk, or sit in silence for 5-10 minutes. Do something to change your state. Lap the office a few times if you need too, but do not stay in that space. Working harder and faster and longer will not change the way you feel. It will add to your problem.
Only when I regularly carved out “quiet time” did I start to look at my options and see other roads I could take.
What is it costing you? To stay as you are with no change. Who is benefiting from it? You’re not. It doesn’t change over night and that is why the small quiet moments are so important. They are what move you forward without even realising. The quiet time is what allows you to listen to your gut.
In this modern world, don’t let the to-do list numb your instincts. Drop off some tasks, get quiet and feel what it is you actually want.