Independent female lead

Whilst travelling to london with friends a few weeks ago, we were bonding over our love for Beyonce, talking about her Homecoming show on Netflix and this nicely segwayed us into the topic of Feminism.

Growing up I had a skewed vision of Feminism as I wasn’t sure what it was, but I knew it was linked to the Suffragettes which I had learnt in History. Otherwise my knowlegde was limited, but all I knew is for some reason I thought it was something bad.

As an adult, I know this was likely the media, male influences in my life and other women that didn’t know alot about it either that molded my view of it.

I didn’t realise until only a year or so ago that I am in fact a Feminist and probably have been most of my life. I have always be drawn to the strong female leads in my life.

It started with Britney, Maria and Jennifer Aniston. I never liked bands and I did not have any posters of male singers on my walls. And as I have gotten older some of my favourite films are about independant female leads, Like Anne Hathaway in “The Intern”, Cameron Diaz and leslie Mann in “The other women”, “Girls Trip” with Tiffany Haddish and Jada Pinkett-Smith and Amy Schmur in “I feel Pretty”. It is every where I look.

Some of my best mentors have been women. Also, as a kid I couldn’t pick a Disney Princess I liked most, I loved Aladdin and Lion King. But now, with the likes of Brave, Mulan and Tiana, I can’t move for Feminist roles to love!! You go girls! Honestly, knowing there are women out there kicking ass gets me super hyped, even if they are cartoons.

So back to Beyonce, I get fired up by her song Flawless featuring Chimamanda Ngozi Adich. If you have not heard this song then go onto youtube and listen to it RIGHT NOW. Then type Chimamanda TED TALK into Youtube and watch that too! The one titled “We should all be Feminist”. You’re Welcome.

In the song Flawless Chimamanda says….

We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls “you can have ambition, but not too much” You should aim to be successful but to successful otherwise you will threaten the man. Because I am female I am expected to aspire to marriage, I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support, but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage but we don’t teach boys the same?

We raise girls to see each other as competitors, not for jobs or accomplishements, which I think would be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.”

Feminist: A person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes.”

OH MY GOD! IS THIS TRUTH OR WHAT?!?! I got goosebumps when I first heard it because I couldn’t believe how bang on she was.

So me and my friends spoke about all the things that are said to us, but are not said to men, for example…

  • When are you going to find a boyfriend? You poor thing.
  • When are you going to have children, I would like Grandkids you know!
  • Don’t call yourself a feminist it’s aggressive
  • You should have his tea on the table when he gets in
  • The women looks after the baby, not the man
  • The man is ther breadwinner
  • You can’t have a baby and a career

These are a very small amount of examples as there are hundreds more where girls are put under the pressure of societys expectations. It’s exhausting. If I had a quid for everytime I was told I HAD to have another child because it just wasn’t fair on my daughter, I would be a rich lady! These statements limit us and damage us. At the end of the day we should all be Feminist, men and women. We should all be passionate about equal rights!

The reason women apologise so much is because we have never been taught we can have it. What gets said about a women who likes a lot of sex? What would be said about a women who wanted to make a lot of money? We tell our little girls off for being bossy, but not our boys. This all has to stop if we want change for our future. There are so many women out there with good ideas, with great skills and who could be amazing CEO’S, Thought Leaders and Entrepenures, lets give them a chance.

Shout out to all the women just trying to live their best lives!!!

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