In search of Happy

I heard Jim Kwik (Brain trainer and learning expert) tell a story once about a girl who read 30 books in one day. As part of his job as a coach and teacher he teaches people speed reading and how to read a book a week, so 30 books in 1 day was insane to him!

When he asked her what she was reading and why, she said “my mum has been diagnosed with cancer and I have to save her”.

As you can imagine this stopped Jim in his tracks but it proved the point that when the stakes are high enough, we can do anything and will do anything in search of answers.

I have been on a search for 2 years now and the process has ramped up alot in recent months. I am looking for happy.

Now this may seem morbid or depressing and for those of you who know me may think “really? you are always happy”. But I don’t mean happiness on the surface level, I mean happiness on a deeper level.

What is happy anyway? How would you describe it?

The opposite to happy is unhappy and therefore I am not talking about depression here as that is an entirely different topic and one that needs far more support and attention.

I mean, I lost myself and forgot what made me happy. Who, to my core was I? And how do I find her again?

Well I have been looking for these answers in hundreds of books and for those of you who are further along the journey than me or are particularly spiritual, I know what you will say, “The answers do not lie within the book Ruby, they lie within yourself” (in my best Mr Miyagi voice).

I know this. But what the books are giving me is guidance, mentorship and a better understanding of the human mind and how it works. I may not discover something in every book I read, but about every 2nd or 3rd book something will resonate with me or trigger me and start the process of understanding and reflection.

I tell everyone I am having a quarter life crisis, and in some ways I am, but I also know (from 10 months worth of therapy) that I am thinking about the bigger picture, wondering what it’s all about and searching for happy as a result of life altering changes. Like having a baby, loosing a loved one, health scares and moving house. As Esther Perel Psychotherapist says, “these big events in our life, especially ones that threaten our mortality, force us to question, is this it? who am I? and could I be happier?”

As you may have guessed one of her books definitely gave me the “Ah-ha” moment. I am starting with a long reading list and I have signed up to a new course which I have mentioned on my instagram @this_time_in_my_life. I am also doing small things that make me happy like go to a dance class, exercise even if I don’t feel like it as I know I won’t regret it.

So my quest continues, I am going to change my environment to one that is more positive, I am attempting to form good habits to replace some bad ones and I am listening to my body when it is telling me, enough! Along the way I will document my progress, pitfalls and all.

Let me know if you want to come along for the ride, or if indeed you already found the gold at the end of the rainbow, it might save me a few years and a tonne of money!

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